Danielle voiced a concern that seems prevalent among single women these days: “I’ve been dating Rick for a year, and he’s lots of fun. He’s always playing laser tag, poker, and video games with his friends. He’s had three low-level jobs since I’ve known him. Is it too much to ask for a guy who is both fun to be with and a responsible human being? Lest you think this is a male-bashing article that lumps all men together as immature and irresponsible, hold on. The problem is that Rick’s 30 and has never been serious about a career. The only kind of follow-through he knows about involves his golf swing. It’s highly possible, since there are plenty of Guys Who Won’t Grow Up roaming the land.As any psychologist will tell you, chronic self-centeredness is a big pool of quicksand on the road of love. You can stay afloat in it for a while, but sooner or later you’ll submerge and suffocate. ” That innocent little word has become a part of our cultural vernacular, for better or worse. In the movie version of ‘Peter Pan’, the iconic man-child tells his new lady friend, “Forget about them, Wendy.Forget them all, and come with me where you’ll never, never have to worry about grown-up things again.” If a charming, fun-loving man-child says something like that to you, think twice about becoming a resident of Never-Neverland.If your conversations seem anything but easy, and you begin to catalog major idiosyncrasies about your date that irritate you while he or she is speaking, take note.One or two qualities that are new to you that you’re not sure about may not be a problem (and can even become cute to you over time as your feelings deepen), but if there are several can’t-stands emerging like exit signposts on the imagination superhighway in your mind, take heed.But when fun-loving and lighthearted cross over into unreliable and irresponsible, the teeter-totter lands on the ground with a painful thud. Being alive and alert in the present doesn’t mean disregarding the future.
You may both speak about shared references from e-mails or phone calls.There are no commitment clauses, only an opportunity for great conversation and company.When you put your interest in another person and what he or she is all about first above your insecure thoughts about yourself, the nervousness melts away and you can truly “be yourself.” On the other hand, less than positive anticipation toward a date can indicate that your feelings for the person that you’re meeting are not that strong.You may even have low expectations about what the outcome will be.
In other cases, you may not be emotionally ready to date, especially if you’re still healing from a recent breakup.
“Rules are made to be broken.” Our society champions and applauds nonconformists—artists, entrepreneurs, inventors.