In such situations, cybersex may even be advisable—but still regarded as cheating.As a 29-year-old married woman who often engages in cybersex, says: When people feel trapped by their current circumstances, but still do not want to ruin their relationship, cyberspace may offer a parallel world in which things are better.The private nature of online affairs may make them less painful for the betrayed partner as well.Moreover, when online affairs are revealed to the significant other, which is done more often than when offline circumstances are involved, it could be considered as something less than cheating.These people believe that if they do not even know the real name of their cybermate—and never actually see them—their affair cannot be regarded as from a moral point of view; it's no different from reading a novel or other form of entertainment.In other words, a way to play out fantasies in a safe environment.Generally, online affairs are easier to perform and put the agent in a less vulnerable position, as the chances of getting caught or being hurt in other ways are considerably reduced.
Living within the two worlds is not easy, however, and may become increasingly risky when people do not realize the limitations of each.Many of them believe cybersex to be similar to pornography—an extension of fantasy that actually helps to keep them from physical affairs with other people.Consider the following statement from a 41-year-old married man (all citations are from to cheat—something that may even add spice to their offline relationship.It's like reading an erotic story and masturbating to it.
I think, however, if you do it with the same person more than once there is a risk of getting attached to them." However, the above types of limitations are extremely difficult to follow, as online boundaries are less constant and rigid.
Whereas people having online affairs tend to understate their problematic nature, their offline partners typically do not see difference between online and offline affairs: A lack of direct physical contact and face-to-face meetings does not diminish the sense of a violation of their vow of exclusivity.