Break pattern of dating controlling men


During this phase (which is often considered an element of the honeymoon/reconciliation phase), the relationship is relatively calm and peaceable.During this period the abuser may agree to engage in counseling, ask for forgiveness, and create a normal atmosphere.The abuser may use self-harm or threats of suicide to gain sympathy and/or prevent the survivor from leaving the relationship.Abusers are frequently so convincing, and survivors so eager for the relationship to improve, that survivors (who are often worn down and confused by longstanding abuse) stay in the relationship.



This is followed by a sense of relief, fear of consequences, distraction, and rationalization of abuse.

Initially, Walker proposed that the cycle of abuse described the controlling patriarchal behavior of men who felt entitled to abuse their wives to maintain control over them.