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"It's a site where you can create a profile, window-shop for a play buddy, and 'check his references.' Even better, if you can, go to a public event like IML, MAL, or CLAW, or to a play party like the New York Bondage Club, where you can participate in a monitored space with other people around, or just watch the action.Don't forget the motto 'safe, sane, and consensual,' and be sure to have a safe word!You're aware that nonmonogamous relationships are an option—and couples can explore nonmonogamy together.If you can have this guy and have your sexual adventures, too—this could be the start of something big.(Also: There are tons of gay guys out there into spanking, SPANK.So if you aren't finding any, I can only conclude that you aren't looking.) I'm wondering about the application of the term "bear" to a straight man, such as myself.And if you do want to explore bondage, take precautions.

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If you're a tad shy and work better online, these contingents have Facebook groups or Fet Life pages you can join.It's not that they're closeted—most of them go on to have girlfriends, and that's when we stop—and they make it clear they don't want anything sexual to happen. And how do you know they aren't closing their eyes and imagining that you're a woman when you're spanking them?And how do you know they're not bi—at least where spankings are concerned?We should also remember that no one is clairvoyant and that someone can hurt us without intending to.

But there's no intimate human connection, sexual or otherwise, that doesn't leave us open to hurting or being hurt.

And You Tube has a channel for everyone in the kink spectrum from gay to straight to trans to nonbinary and beyond!