But, there are also aspects to consider before sharing your traumatic past with your partner. No matter what your answers are to these questions try not to be judgmental or critical of yourself.The most important piece to consider is motivation. This exercise is to help take inventory to increase of your process around sharing.Holding off on intimacy is like putting a cork in a steam locomotive. Too much high voltage intimacy too soon can—and frequently does—blow the fuse on a brand-new relationship. “Penciling each other in” may seem a bit formal at first.Sex throws the switch on a wide range of issues better left until the emotional circuitry of your new relationship is ready to handle them. After all, what you really want is to throw away the planner and spend every second together.As with sharing any other highly personal and sensitive information, it makes sense to wait until you have established a foundation of genuinely knowing and trusting each say, consider the fact that there is no “perfect formula.” I suggest writing it out beforehand.Not because I suggest you read from a script, but because it gives you a chance to sit with yourself and your own ideas on how you want to share.This statistic does not take into account individuals who have experienced complex trauma. When deciding whether now is a good time to share painful past experiences with your S.
Once you have addressed your motivation, you can begin to think about when to share this with your partner.
It’s important to recognize that there’s nothing wrong with talking about your past because it’s part of what deepens intimacy in a relationship.