By the time he was thirty he found himself with a busy job, a big mortgage, two kids and a wife who was mentally unravelling.She had an affair, admitted it, promised to never do it again … Worst of all, she threatened to take sole custody of the kids if he ever tried to divorce her.If you found the previous article on relationship red flags for dating the divorced man helpful, here are seven more red flags that you should keep a look out for if you are trying to choose relationships that will have the greatest likelihood of success and happiness.Raise your relationship red flag radar if: In a perfect world, by the time you enter into a relationship with a divorced man, he would have already done the work necessary to heal from his divorce and move on from his previous relationship.But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation.Red Flag 3: Age and Stage If you each have children at different stages – for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college – anticipate some potential problems if you’re hoping for a long-term relationship.Another captured my heart (and still holds it, most tenderly).
There was nothing EJ could do to change the situation he was in; he was responsible for paying alimony, child support and his ex-wife’s debt.And that’s despite the fact that you’re working two jobs already, and he may be working two jobs of his own. The neighbors like him, too, and he and his ex seem very friendly.When a man clearly indicates what is and isn’t a deal breaker, we owe him the respect of honoring his choices. But something in your gut tells you he’s too good to be true.But we all know that doesn’t always happen, unfortunately.
He might still be processing some residual feelings—they could be positive or negative feelings—about his divorce and previous relationship. We all have a past, we all have baggage, and talking about it with a friend or a loved one is one way to process the feelings and get through it.
– I would be remiss if I didn’t also share some cautions to keep in mind.