I refuse to do it, and so many times I wait around for a man to get the courage to ask me out/pursue a relationship. I absolutely refuse to be the leader in the relationship.While I am fully capable of seeing something I want and then deciding to make it mine, taking this role in a relationship is a complete turn off for me. I think it's very interesting that you that you say that you "refuse to be the leader in the relationship".When you take pride and responsibilty for your actions, you produce better products and constantly improve and innovate. I love Ayn Rand and her description of "second hander" and the "selfless". Then again, he's my father and I am his only child. After getting rejected day in and day out, they get confused by all the mixed signals girls send out and you lose nothing to show interest.She goes at length to state the detriments of living through and for others instead of for yourself. People who think that you're too extreme or intense and want to make you more like them? I've got a few years on you and let me just say that, NO MAN is worth waiting around for and getting flustered over. Plus, a confident woman is sexy and men do like to be eaten alive. =P I think what is more difficult is when you feel that you are the man in the relationship.He'll end up nagging and annoying me that I don't spend enough time or don't put him first. We all have that internal inertia that propels us to be obsessive, compulsive and demanding. I couldn't last 24 hours with someone who broke things and threw fits.His feelings will be hurt and I'll end up loathing his very existence... Maybe that makes ENTJ too serious and no fun but I just don't understand people who lack the drive to Hahaha - thats awesome. Needy crazy psychotic biatches who break things and throw fits. My struggle has been finding a girl who has high self esteem AND extraordinarily good looks AND a cheerful disposition AND is fun-loving. Actually, high self esteem itself seems to be almost discouraged in America.I suspect SJs are probably a bad fit, and its hard to communicate with 'S's in general, past a certain point. NTs might be an overload, but they will understand me best.I like the ENTJs in my life a lot (have discovered I know 4, I think). I don't know about females but ENFP is a great choice for me.
While I am fully capable of seeing something I want and then deciding to make it mine, taking this role in a relationship is a complete turn off for me. If the man isn't capable of being the pursuer/courter in the relationship, then it will never leave ground zero. I have had short relationships with both INTJ's and INTP's where there was a little bit of chemistry, but I feel a large part of the lack of connection for me was their lack of dominance.I've got a few years on you and let me just say that, NO MAN is worth waiting around for and getting flustered over. Plus, a confident woman is sexy and men do like to be eaten alive. =P I think what is more difficult is when you feel that you are the man in the relationship.There's nothing wrong with showing that you're interested. When I was younger (eons ago) I was like the traditional stoic Asian man.Dating an extreme ENTJ, though, might be rough, since I figure it makes sense to be with someone somewhat complementary to you - I'm intense myself, and probably need a relaxing influence rather than the opposite. They usually have high self-esteem, are smart and creative and fun to be around.
Some turn-offs might be the lack of focus and decisiveness, being irresponsible and messy. We have a lot to learn from these two types and they have a lot to learn from us.
I want a partner who can teach me something and improve me.