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The following comments by the women reflect the opinion expressed by most of the women I interviewed: “The first time can be a little terrifying for the woman. Others commented on their expectations in the swinging context: “What kind of clothes should I wear?Most women don’t know what to expect and they often ask themselves: Am I pretty enough? I don’t want to embarrass myself by looking too slutty or too matronly.” Some addressed the concerns associated with jealousy and competition: “What if my husband finds other women more attractive than me? ” However, it doesn’t take long for most women to realize that how you look is probably only part of the process, and that, in the end, how they look physically isn’t that important at all: “Confidence is the most important feature of being sexy” said another one.Moreover, swinging has a special attraction to women who want to experiment with bi-sexuality.At times the preference for woman-to-woman play excludes not only men but also those women who have no bi interests.The following are some of the rules: Generally, rules are modified after the couple's comfort and trust levels increase.One of the most surprising, and apparently, benefits of swinging for women is trust.Moreover, did the wife have a choice in the matter, or did she just go along to please her husband?It seems that indeed it is the husbands that most often suggests swinging to their wives (my research shows that 72% of the time the husband introduced swinging to the wife), however, once involved, things seem to change. Do the women enjoy their consensual non-monogamous activities, or do their husbands coerce them?



For women, feeling desired is a great confidence builder, and most women reported enjoying being seduced and desired.However, as the comfort level of the couple increases, the rules seem to decrease as well.Over time rules become no longer relevant or even obsolete.To answer this question I referred back to the hundreds on interviews I’ve conducted over the last 15 years with couples in the Swinging Lifestyle, as well as private interviews with the women involved.

I put together a collage of some of the more relevant commentary from those interviews.

Women in swinging score very high on the self-determination scale, meaning, they are in absolute control of their decisions and are unlikely to be easily swayed by others.



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