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Being able to have any sort of successful relationship with your ex means that you need to have processed your breakup and taken ownership of your part in it…Instead, by trying to be “friends” with her afterwards, I was just desperately clinging to what used to be, begging for whatever scraps of affection might still be there.It’s impossible to heal when you’re constantly picking at the scabs, and whether you’re wishing your ex would take you back or you’re nursing elaborate revenge scenarios to make them feel all the misery feeling, every new photo on Facebook and status update is going to be a tiny dagger to your soul.But at the same time, we have a tendency to hold to that pain like a squirrel hoarding anger nuts for winter.
Holding on to the frustration, the hurt, even the vague hope that you can get back together…
By dwelling on your ex, you’ve locked the quantum state of your relationship. The next key to a drama-free relationship with your ex – whether you become close friends or are just able to not flee the room when you see her – is to honestly assess what led to the end of the relationship.
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