Husband who bullies and is intimidating


Inside, they are barely hanging on so they overcompensate by tightening their grip on everything (and often everyone) outside. Insecurities plague the darker parts of their hidden hearts, so they try to control external conditions to keep their anxious insides from spinning out of control.The hope is that you see the signs of being an emotional bully (even if only border-line or occasional), you take note, then take the proper steps in your personal growth to overcome tendencies that are likely putting stress and strain on relationships that can only bend so far.Remember, self-awareness is the first step to an exciting life of emotional growth and happiness, even if the initial look in the mirror hurts. Van Have you ever been in a relationship with an emotional bully? I once dated a girl who would fairly regularly yell or cry or call names almost every time I disagreed with her, even over silly non-issues. Or they push others around in a vain attempt at feeling better about themselves by comparison.Any comment that was in any way at odds with her position was taken as a frontal assault. But whatever the reason, the problem is that they create the very social context that undermines their relationships, emotionally isolating themselves even more, further reinforcing their insecurities and giving fuel to their fears.One is doing all the talking (perhaps yelling) while the other is doing all the listening (or pretending to). And if the person you start yelling at has a low threshold of tolerance for conflict or fears the escalation affecting the kids or neighbors, then throwing a fit is perhaps the best way to always get your way.



Discredit the person by depersonalizing him or her as a flapjacketed goshomatic and the message he’s bearing no longer matters. This sort of passive aggressive behavior is meant to punish the other person into submission. Silent treatments and the like can be a sort of revenge, for sure. Withholding sex, leaving chores undone, coming home late on purpose, going to the bar, moving out, even sustained anger can be used as a form of getting back at another person.All such behavior is immature, selfish and mean-spirited. Have you ever threatened divorce, suicide or unfaithfulness during an argument? Those who are emotional bullies are usually those who have deep emotional wounds, tender and painful. And trust is the blood the relationship loses as it drains from the open wound self-inflicted.If so, as the self-appointed marital and relationship ref, I call Advanced emotional bullying practitioners will be familiar with the threat-card. The problem is that in their panic to hold on to something they feel has slipped (or is slipping) away, they do the very thing that loses the others’ respect, love and empathy. Do you reach back as far as you can go to make the point you want to make, dredging up what should rightly be left in the past?A bully who bullies because his parents bullied him is still a bully.

So it is with chronic criers who use their tears to get their way (this does NOT mean that all chronic criers use their tears to end or control an argument.

The thing is, all emotional bullies have “good reasons” why they dominate disagreements. It allows you to avoid discussion, give and take, compromise and the vulnerability of seeing the situation from the other side, maybe even being wrong. The hard work of becoming the kind of person deserving of respect is traded in for the relative ease of instilling fear.