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Still: “Nobody stirs the pot better than Lisa,” says Cohen. “They have their own schedule, they’ll come in later this afternoon,” she says.If someone is being ridiculous and not wearing underwear, she’ll say, . In keeping with the first rule of television, Villa Rosa appears smaller in real life than it does onscreen.(Just look at the reports that name her as the highest-paid Housewife across all franchises.) Camille Paglia, critic and longtime Housewives fan, credits Vanderpump’s rule to “her flamboyant, floridly female persona and her cultivation of a lordly country-house life style (with resident swans) that verges on Marie Antoinette.” Vanderpump, Paglia told me in an email, is a “queen bee” who “mischievously traffics in sexual double entendres while flatly asserting woman’s absolute control over men (her husband, the charmingly deferential Ken Todd).” Executive producer Andy Cohen, the man who green-lit her casting, offers a different comparison.In a phone conversation, he explains he saw something “Jackie Collins–esque” in her.“I don’t have time to sit around too many painting parties,” she tells me. “Little does he know we cut the dog’s bollocks off, haven’t we.” and a daughter, Pandora (“Pandy”).

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A housekeeper serves us black tea in baby-pink china mugs and Vanderpump insists I eat as many Dove chocolates and Walkers shortbread cookies as I want.

And it was clear: Even if was not technically a competition, she was the front-runner. She had a deep love for her many dogs (five of whom I met). She threw her daughter a fairy-tale English-garden wedding with an outrageous wedding planner who seemed like a Nancy Meyers character.