Married couples dating others


Related: Why I Love (and Respect) Cougars There is, though, an emotional purgatory most couples need to work their way through before the final decision to end a marriage is made: the separation. As much as I wanted to shout out "Hey, that's really, seriously [email protected]" I sort of understood where there was room for reasonable reticence on their part.Related: Is Playing Hard to Get a Turn ON or Turn OFF?Jim himself has boundaries around how much he is involved in their care.He would not want to alienate Allan, or confuse the children by acting in a “parent” capacity.The most important thing for them is to be provided with loving adults in their life. We had been friends for about three years before we ever became romantically involved, so Allan and our children already knew him.As he and I have spent more time together, he has spent a little more time with the children.After all, there's a good chance that you get involved with that person and they drop that, "I'm getting back with my ex" bomb on you. And let's face it, there's a great risk in being the first new relationship for the soon-to-be divorcee.Do you really want to be the rebound or the buffer between the old life and the new one?

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Just like being monogamous, relationships involve people, and people are prone to interactions fraught with pitfalls and compromises. If communication breaks down anywhere in the polyship, it can cause issues for any number of interrelations.To me, the key to peace and happiness with existing partners is and planning/negotiating what time you spend with others and respecting your partner you’re with at the time.When Jim and I started dating, our impulse like any other new couple was to spend as much time together as possible.In my relationships, negotiations and communications need to take place around me and my spouse, my boyfriend and his spouse, his spouse and her partner, my spouse and any partners, my family, and my family and my boyfriend. My boyfriend once told me that he knows most things we discuss will be heard by my spouse because things flow between us like water.

I think this is part of the reason my spouse and I get along so well in a polyamorous relationship; we are not afraid of words or reactions and can freely say what’s on our minds.

We go to events or trips with all three of us grownups and three children, or at times with Jim, the children and I.



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