Masculine gay dating
Masculinity doesn’t “belong” to any single gender or agender community. Because masculinity isn’t tied to any single identity.Anyone can identify as masculine, masculine of center, or be masculine-presenting. Think of it this way: Masculinity is a universe, and we’re all stars. And remember that masculinity is a spectrum that we can move across over the course of our lives.Some of us are shining brightly with masculinity, while others of us shine just a little bit in this respect, or not at all (but we sparkle elsewhere! By asking why someone is dating a masculine woman instead of a cisgender man, you’re implying that masculinity “belongs” to men and that a masculine-presenting woman is just borrowing or imitating masculinity. Similar to the way this tired question presumes that masculinity “belongs” to men, it also presumes that heterosexual relationships are superior to (and more desirable than) other types of relationships.If you’re working to develop a positive sexuality lens, be patient with yourself because it takes time to unlearn internalized shame and judgment, but continue to challenge yourself to be a conscientious ally to people of other sexual orientations.
*** Now that you know the actual answer to why women who date masculine-presenting women don’t just date a cisgender man instead, here are some more productive and respectful questions to ask instead: To make this world more just and equitable for women dating masculine women and all LGBTQIA folks, each of us must commit to consciously unlearning the many components of kyriarchy that make the question I’ve addressed possible in the first place.
Attraction and sexuality can also change over time for some folks.
Masculine gay dating comments