Military gay dating


But no solution can do more than paper over an uncomfortable reality of life in the trenches: that the male bonding so prized by military commanders—the willingness to die for one’s buddies—can engender another kind of closeness as well.Many GIs recognize homosexual leanings for the first time in the all-male surroundings.The roommate of Seaman Allen Schindler, who was beaten to death by one of his shipmates in Sasebo, Japan [October 1992], said he himself endured “a living hell” of threats, taunts and physical abuse aboard the an amphibious assault ship.It’s not easy to figure out just what is going on in the sometimes erotic, often violent rituals young sailors and soldiers practice.Hazing may be a way of repudiating the feminine side by a direct act of aggression.“You wipe out some part of yourself that’s undesirable,” says Gregory Herek, a research psychologist at the University of California, Davis.“Part of it is the idea that, ‘Maybe [gays] are seeing something in me that I don’t want to admit is in me,” says University of Mississippi psychologist Dan Landis, who has worked with the military on equal-opportunity matters over the past 20 years.



By imagining themselves objects of homosexual lust, they unwittingly place themselves in the feminine role—which may explain the vehemence of their objections.The administration is offering a compromise this week that would allow gays to serve as long as they did not advertise their sexual preference.It remains unclear how this “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t pursue” policy will actually be implemented in the ranks.Military men seem to fear that those feelings could turn the barracks into seething love nests. “Romantic interests, even if unconsummated, would shatter the bonds that add up to unit cohesion.” The authors thus invoked a reigning myth of the current debate, which sees the ideal of virtuous male bonding threatened by ungovernable homosexual lusts. Homosexuality remains exotic and forbidding terrain for most servicemen.

“With openly gay and heterosexual personnel together, sexual tension would fester 24 hours a day,” says a recent op-ed page piece written by Bernard E. Many have never known a gay man or woman and can barely imagine what their lives are like.

A form-fitting dress uniform can make a leatherneck look like a peacock.