"I think in the age of swiping apps, there's less ability to overtly discriminate, but there is still a lot of preference for women who meet a certain look," she explains.Even though she's occasionally dealt with guys who went out of their way to say things like "I'm down with the swirl" (BRB, rolling my eyes for the rest of eternity), Sarah also feels like swiping apps are "pretty welcoming of diverse people," especially in cities like San Francisco and New York.What's more, she met her current boyfriend on her first ever Hinge date after going on "probably 100 Tinder dates," she says.So, to any women of color out there struggling with online dating, know that it is definitely possible to meet your match.I felt objectified and grossed out." Jenny, who's tried Ok Cupid in addition to Tinder, has also experienced someone immediately trying to guess her ethnicity, which seems to be a pretty common experience for some women of color online. I just went to a Korean BBQ place.' I'm not Korean, and it's offensive to try to guess my ethnicity off the bat," she explains.As you'll see, the "I'm going to assume or wonder if you're this ethnicity, then say something asinine about it" technique is clearly alive and well."Men have said dumb sh*t to me about Kama Sutra," Maya B., 25, a queer woman of desi descent who identifies as a first-generation American and second-generation Indian, tells SELF.
She's tried out Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, and Swiping through friends' dating apps gives me a legal high.Like a lot of other women in long-term relationships, I totally missed the online-dating boat.For now, Maya's filtered her preferences on the dating apps she still uses to only see people of color, hoping to avoid some of the disconnect she's previously experienced.
And when she still encounters ignorance, she has a genius game plan: "I usually wax eloquent about [things like] my work, racial justice organizing, and Black Lives Matter...until they feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable, and then I never speak to them ever again." Lots of praise hands emojis for you, Maya.
An oft-cited Ok Cupid study from 2014 backs this up.