We all need the grace and freedom that only Christ Himself can offer. And we can trust He will give guidance, and help us see some red flags to be aware of along the way. The Unbeliever – Be careful not to settle for less than what God would want for the spiritual health and care of your marriage.But our marriages are healthier when we recognize red flags in our dating relationships, instead of choosing not to see problems at all. Marriage can be tough enough at times, add to that the pressure of opposing spiritual views, and you may be in big trouble when the normal stressors of life occur. The Abuser – Many times “abusers” are assumed to be men, but women struggle with this same trap too, and the man in her life may feel like it’s difficult to talk about the problem or find help. Marriage must be built on deep love and respect, and abuse of any type has no place there. The Controller, Manipulator – This person’s subtle, dangerous behavior can indicate big trouble ahead.Addiction to alcohol, drugs, pornography, or destructive habits will lead to deep troubles ahead.And though your relationship may seem to challenge her in the right direction, don’t be fooled that she’ll so quickly “give it all up for you,” without the aid and accountability of professional help. The Narcissist, Diva - No matter how beautiful, talented, and charming she may seem, marriage is built on the word “together.” If the relationship before marriage seems to constantly be all about her, you may be in for some struggle ahead.
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Humility, compassion, love, and respect are much more admirable characteristics than simply the externals. The Gold Digger/Big Spender - Secretive spending habits?Money problems and financial struggles are one of the main causes of divorce.Look for the red flags and decide up front if the two of you can agree on the big issues. The One Who Won’t Leave the Nest – It’s difficult to live a future of becoming one flesh when either partner is still joined too tightly to their parents.Make the choice together to live by His standards in your relationship. The heart of Christ seeks the best for the one they love, desiring to build up, protect, and encourage healthy, safe patterns. So what about those “little white lies” you started noticing along the way?
The lies of the world say that sex before marriage is normal, no big deal. In the story of Joseph in , we see Potiphar’s wife pursuing him with sexual advances day after day. In reality, there’s no such thing as little white lies.
It’s a dangerous trap and you will always be left wondering what she’s hiding.