Red flags when dating a widower

They may also fear that the new woman in the widower's life has ulterior motives: "She wants to make our grandchild (or the widower) forget our daughter!" or "She's USING him as a paycheck or to support her own child(ren)!When your widower boyfriend starts to withdraw into “fits and starts” mode, gently redirect him with your understanding.If he typically withdraws on “anniversaries” associated with his late wife, be bold and offer a shoulder for him to lean on.

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")In-laws like these often subconsciously PULL the widower into their own grief cycles to "wise him up" and try to make him realize that his behavior is wrong (even though it's NOT! They do this by bringing him along to the cemetery or making him the guest of honor at their late daughter's birthday parties. They are afraid that their beloved child will be forgotten if they stop celebrating her life, and they feel that the widower's steps beyond bereavement are a sure sign that he, too, has negated the late wife's existence.

After six months of dating, he withdrew and said he had to work out in his mind issues that were about him and his wife, and he wasn't ready to discuss them with me.