But I think that in avoiding this potentially messy part of life, we miss out on the chance to learn about and practice discipline, integrity, obedience, responsibility, seeking God's will, and following God's unique direction for each of our lives and relationships.I think the goal should be honoring God, not avoiding pain or responsibility.There are no easy answers here — whether it's kissing dating goodbye, following some "Rules," or adopting any other 1-2-3 formula for relational success — there's only a God who desperately desires for each and every one of us to be in an intimate relationship with him.In my view, that's the only true source for healthy male-female relationships.And I've witnessed much harm and hurt accomplished in the name of dating.I'll even admit that for certain people and in certain situations non-dating is probably the best option, even God's best. I've seen singles use non-dating or courting as an excuse to hang out with a lot of different people of the opposite gender (non- dating around, if you will) — leading to all kinds of confusion.
Harris’ book, and the many others like it in the ’90s and early 2000s, were written in reaction to society’s increasingly casual approach to love, sex and relationships—all of which are, by their nature, not meant to be casual.Maybe some hand holding — but only after you're engaged. And we'd not only held hands before betrothal, we'd actually kissed. So what had started as a quest to honor God in our dating relationship, led only to an overwhelming sense of confusion and guilt (for things we weren't quite sure why we should feel guilty).My next experience with a Christian dating book happened about a year ago.While dating can be wonderful and enriching, when it's done poorly it can also be painful and messy.
So instead of learning to do it well, some would have us just not date altogether.
I've seen these non-dating philosophies used as a way to escape responsibility and commitment.