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Behind a childishly suggestive screen name—say, “XXXman”—I could strike up conversations with strangers who needn’t and didn’t question my sexuality or my proclivities.

This allows him to blend in more, but it also helps craft an iconic gay male object of desire: When cruising men along the water, Frankie is a late ’90s vision of those ambling hustlers along another very different New York City waterfront.Sometimes I leveraged my own IRL inexperience as a selling point.I may have been shy and bookish in my day-to-day life, but my penchant for sexual double entendres made me feel adept in a space that depended solely on one’s words.While outwardly preaching pride, I found myself still repressing and feeling shame at the sex-positive (if not outrightly promiscuous-laden) sensibility I so easily gravitated to online, choosing instead to cordon it off.